Today I purged nearly twenty years of background notes, drafts, and other miscellanea for my unpublished writing. At first, I tried to be highly selective, but faced with leaning piles of files, I became merciless.
It occurred to me as I was shredding that I was releasing early dreams of publishing glory. Of course, my manuscripts in final draft still exist, both in electronic and in paper form. But the fancies I had woven as I wrote my fictional “masterpieces” lay collapsed under mounds of shredded paper.
Ironically, with the advent of electronic media, publishing has never been more accessible. After a modest amount of polishing, I could simply upload all my manuscripts and they would be instantly available to all. And I may still do that. I just do not seem to be moved to do that right now.
Today may, in the end, prove to be inconsequential. Years hence, I may scarcely be moved by the memory of releasing so much of me, as expressed through my writing. I don’t know. I just know that today I purged and while I feel lightened I also feel saddened.
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7 comments:
My hat's off to you for getting through 20 years of accumulation in one day!
Thanks, Mohamed. It was a bit like reviewing my life. I could only do it in one day because I became merciless. Very little was saved. Old drafts are on the computer. Research can be reprised online. So ... no need for paper files.
Peace my friend. I am honoured that you chose to reveal your soul to me. I recognized that smile in an instant.
Cheers
Thanks, Karen. I'm glad you found me.
There's nothing inconsequential in writing. I know that I'm not speaking from experience and might come across as a waffler, but writing in a way is the sum of our existence, deftly deployed on the blank page.
Greetings from London.
Cuban, I've only ever known you as a writer, and I think it must be an essential part of your existence. I always enjoy your writing though I might not comment. For me, my writing is personally essential. Its public form though is a different matter.
Thanks for your compliment, Judith. I really appreciate it. This coming Sunday I'll take the plunge again and post one of my short stories on my blog. And I'll brace myself again for the same proces: hold my breath, assess the depth in the water and... well, you ARE the writer here! And Judy, and some of the others who visit you. You guys knows what it's like to expose yourself to the whole world, even if that world is limited to just one blog with a hundred readers.
I wish you luck with the purging. I keep indulging in mine! :-)
Greetings from London.
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